A SYNTHESIS OF THE PASSOVER RITUAL AND LITURGY
      WITH THE TWELVE STEPS OF RECOVERY

      By Reb Hershy W.

      4 THE FOUR CUPS

      One of the main symbols of the Seder, the four cups of wine, corresponds to the four words for redemption mentioned in the Torah as it is written:
        And I brought you out.

        And I saved you.

        And I redeemed you.

        And I took you.

      (There is a fifth term hence a fifth cup, but this by tradition refers to the future redemption.)
        And I brought you.
      There are four characteristics we seem to have in common:
        I think I'm bad, defective, worthless.

        I'm afraid, should you ever discover who I really am, you must reject me.

        No one but I myself can meet my needs.

        My greatest need is for escape, ease, comfort, prestige, sex, etc.

      To counter these delusions requires time and recovery. We allude to them in the process of drinking the four cups.

      1. The first we drink after Kiddush whose message is clear.

      Hashem wanted us. He still wants us. He chose to bring us out of Egypt. We are not bad or worthless.

      2. The second cup we drink after telling the Haggadah which is the description of the worst side of our character and personality. Even knowing that we were idol worshipers, Hashem chose to embrace rather than reject us.

      3. The third we drink after eating the holiday meal which symbolizes the satisfaction of our needs, for companionship, food, for a place to belong, etc.

      4. The fourth cup we drink after Hallel "Praise" when we sing Hashem's praises and our wonderment at His unconditional love for us. It is this love which is our greatest need.

      So the four cups represent the four realities:

      • We are perfect just the way we are, and right where we're supposed to be.
      • We can be known intimately, totally and still be accepted.
      • We can and will have our needs met by others.
      • We are loved unconditionally, and this is our greatest need.
      The fifth cup reminds us that we are never completely cured and we are always in the process. Only after the end of time as we know it will we be recovered. So we pour it but do not drink it. This is the cup of ELIYAHU the prophet whose arrival we anticipate.

      There is a difference in custom as to when this fifth cup for ELIYAHU is poured. There are those who pour it before the Ma-Nishtana when we pour the second cup. Indicating that we feel secure knowing that no matter what we have done, at the end of time when a final reckoning is made and all about ourselves is revealed, we will still not be rejected by the Almighty.

      The other custom is to pour this fifth cup before Hallel when we pour the fourth cup. This reminds us that even when Recovery is achieved our greatest need will still be the need to be loved unconditionally. Even when Moshiach comes it will be to teach us how to open our hearts to those who are close to us and love them in the way that Hashem loves. As it is written:

      "Behold I send you Eliyahu the prophet before the coming of that Great and Awesome day. And he will reconcile the hearts of fathers to sons and the hearts of sons to their fathers".

       

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